Ashes
by rnadom
Summary: For the past fives years, Aldrich Killian and Belle Hawthorn have stayed out of each other's lives, ever since that accident which ripped their friendship apart. But now he's back, and claims that she needs just what he has to offer. But is it worth the price she is at risk of paying?
1. Chapter 1

There were three very uneven piles of paper on Belle's desk. To the right, the one or two pieces telling her about confirmed banking transfers from customers who had purchased some paintings from the gallery. To the left, were all the paperwork detailing her bank account levels for the past month. And right in the middle, the largest pile of all, were the bills.

Hospital ones, for the most part, with the odd electricity and internet one thrown in there. Belle had been staring down at them for the past two hours, and they still made no sense to her. Well, the meaning behind them made perfect sense, it was just that her brain was refusing to accept the knowledge.

There was no way that they were going to even out, the pile of bills always outweighed whatever sells she'd made that month, and now she was running out of savings to use to pay them. She'd already sold her car, her house, and most of her other valuable items. But even with her sleeping on the small camp bed stuffed into a corner of her office, there was just no way for her to be making ends meet.

"What more can I do," she whispered softly; dropping her head into her hands so that she wouldn't have to look at the table any longer.

It was more of an empty plea than anything else, there was no way out that she could see. She had done everything she could, the last thing would be to sell the business, and what would she do after that? It was all such a hopeless situation, and with Lucas in hospital permanently now...

A soft knock jerked her up from her slumped position, "Belle?"

Anna Vitz, her cousin, and helper around the gallery stood at the door. Anna was a few years younger than Belle, and had started working with her originally under a paid internship, but now just stayed on for free. Belle had tried telling her to go and get a proper paying job, but Anna wouldn't budge, She wanted to stay on and help Belle until all the trouble was over. Belle had no idea when that would be, but she was too grateful for the extra help to have the heart to send Anna away.

"What is it?" she asked; quickly whisking the papers away into a draw.

"There's someone down in the gallery to see you."

Belle frowned, "Aren't we closed?"

"Well...yes," Anna started fiddling with a bit of her hair, twisting the blonde strands around her fingers, "But he was quite insistent."

There was something in Anna's eyes, a knowing glint. Belle was suspicious.

"Who is it?"

"Just go down, please," Anna said, stepping further into the room, "I'll tidy up in here."

Belle frowned, and opened her mouth to protest, but Anna firmly held up a hand.

"Go."

Anna was so rarely commanding, normally she would just calmly accept instructions from other people, and try to avoid conflict about anything. But when she put her foot down, nothing and no one was going to be able to move her. Belle had tried.

Sighing in defeat, she pushed back her chair and stood, running a hand through her tangled hair to brush the strawberry blonde curls back from her face.

"Alright, but I won't be long. I need to go and see Lucas."

Anna nodded, smiling brightly once again, and quickly ushering her out of the room.

Belle sighed again, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes and hesitating before stepping down the stairs. Dealing with a customer was the last thing she felt like doing right now, she just wanted to rest. But rest was such a foreign concept to her now, she couldn't even remember the last time she'd had a free day to herself. She hadn't felt at all calm or relaxed for years, not since Zach's accident.

She shuddered lightly, she didn't want to think about that.

Walking into the single room gallery, she saw someone standing with their back towards her. From Anna's behaviour, she'd thought it might be someone she knew, but she couldn't' recognise this person from the back. He was tall, with broad shoulders and slicked back blonde hair, the expensive looking suit he had on seemed to fit him perfectly. There was a sense of power radiating out from him, and it made Belle feel slightly uncomfortable. Like a mouse caught in a room with a cat.

The piece he was staring at was an old one, she'd painted it in university, and even though no one had ever bought it, she had refuse to cycle it out of the gallery. It was a painting of a picture someone had once taken, of her and her two best friends from behind, their arms around each other and walking towards the old clock tower on campus. Her in the middle, clearly the shortest in spite of the stoop of one of her friends, her then long and curly hair looking like it was about to explode even further away from her head. On her right, the much taller figure of Zachery Branson, forever slightly clumsy and awkward about his height and build, but Belle had never met a kinder soul. And to her left, leaning on the cane he'd had to use for most of his life, his hair slightly longer than a guy should have it, was...

"I can't believe you've still got this, I thought that either someone would have bought it or you'd have thrown it out by now."

If Belle hadn't already stopped, she would have frozen in her tracks. As it was, her entire body went rigid, as if an electric current had run right the way through her. That voice...it was so different. It was strong, confident, and far deeper than it had been. But somehow, there still lay a familiarity, and the recognition shocked her to the core.

"You actually were shorter than me," he continued, "I forget that sometimes, I guess I always felt smaller than I was back then."

"What are you doing here?" she asked; her voice coming out much shakier than she would have liked.

"Really, Belle," he chuckled, and turned around, "Is that any way to great an old friend?"

The transformation was just as startling now as it had been five years ago. She'd forgotten till now, actually. In her mind he was still the quiet and small man she'd been friends with her whole life long. The he had become, the man she'd met briefly five years ago, was almost a stranger to her. And here he was now, calmly standing right in her space, when she'd told him never to see her again.

"You've cut your hair," he noticed, "It looks nice."

"Get out," she replied.

But of course, he didn't, he merely turned away again and continued studying the picture.

"I remember when this popped up in the university magazine, 'Beauty and her Beasts', and you had a fit at the editor. You always used to go around championing us, ever since we were all kids. I never understood why. You could easily have gone and made new friends, but you never left us."

"Of course not, you were my friends, you used to be my best friends, and _I _never would have done anything to hurt either of you."

He turned to face her again, his hands clasped behind his back, "Then why did you tell me to stay away?"

Belle's temper flared up at that, out of all three of them, she had always been the one unable to keep it down.

"How dare you ask that," she seethed, "How dare you. You know full well why! I can't believe you even have the nerve to show up here like this. How did you find me?"

He shrugged, seemingly unbothered by her outburst, "No one can hide these days."

"Get out," she repeated, "I don't want to see you."

"It's been five years, Belle, can't we just let the past be in the past? You can't let yourself keep feeling guilty about what we-"

"Me feeling guilty? Oh, so it's just me now? What happened to the guilt you felt! The guilt that used to make you cry. Did all that just go away? Or don't you care anymore?" Belle could hear her voice slowly rising in volume, but she didn't care.

"Do you really think that this is what Zach would want? Would he want us to be estranged like this?"

He sounded calm, as usual, Belle had so rarely seen him lose it. But still, his words felt like a slap in the face to her.

"You have no right to talk about what Zach would have wanted, neither of us do," she snapped.

"Belle," he started towards her, "Please, would you just-"

"No!"

She was beginning to feel panicked now, this was her worst nightmare coming true. She had never planned on seeing Aldrich Killian again, but now here he was right in front of her. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to say. It was just a mess of pent up feelings from the last five years. She just wanted to rage at him, to scream and yell. She just wanted to fall into his arms and cry at the same time.

All of those turbid emotions swelled within her, and right on the surface, like a greasy oil slick that one had to break through to hit clean water, was the guilt. Guilt that she had carried for most of her life, and would probably carry to her grave.

Her automatic response was to turn and run, but almost as soon as she took a step, Aldrich was standing in front of her and blocking the door.

"Belle!" a tinge of annoyance was in his voice now.

She took a step back from him, shaking a little at the display of the new physical prowess he had. She had hardly seen him like this, and most of her mind still saw him as the weak boy she had grown up with. This new, confident, and powerful Aldrich was a completely different person to her, a stranger.

"Why did you come here now?" she asked.

"Would you please just calm down first, you know that you can't talk rationally when you're angry," he said.

"I am calm!" she retorted, not in a very calm tone of voice.

"It's been years, can't I miss my old friend?"

"After what happened? After how we parted ways? No," she replied.

"Just because you're still angry at me, doesn't mean I was ever angry with you." He took a step towards her, his arms held out in a harmless gesture, "Belle, I understand what happened, I understand what you went through. You aren't the only one who lost a friend that day."

He sounded so genuine, even hurt, a part of her wanted to reach out to him. Years ago, whenever he'd used that voice, she and Zach and always bounced back from whatever they'd been angry at him about. But no, he wasn't going to get her this time.

Setting her jaw firmly, she looked up at him, much higher than she used to have to, and repeated the words she'd said to him the last time they had seen each other.

"It was your fault."


	2. Chapter 2

Aldrich looked taken aback. No, he looked hurt. Once upon a time that look on his face would have made her reach out and hug him, but he wasn't the same person any longer, and neither was she. He took another step towards her, "Belle, please, you know that's not true."

"Oh, do I really? Is that something I know? Oh wow, why did no one ever tell me?"

Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but right now it was all that was coming to mind for her. She was so tired. So tired and stressed about everything that was going on, the last thing she needed right now was the biggest skeleton in her closet walking into her life again.

"You didn't let me explain five years ago, you wouldn't listen, for god's sake listen to me now!"

"What is there to listen to Aldrich? You said it was safe, you said that all the kinks had been straightened out, you lied to me. And you lied to Zach, now he's dead."

Belle put a hand to her mouth in shock, in fives years she had never referred to Zach as 'dead'. It had always been 'not here anymore', or perhaps 'gone away', but never 'dead'. That just made it sound so final, and she had never wanted to accept it. Five years she had managed that, but five minutes with Aldrich Killian had thrown it all out the window.

"I know," he said, "I. Know. Jesus Christ, Belle, do you think I haven't gone over and over again in my head how it happened? Wondered if there was anything to be done? You know me, you know that I don't regret much. What happened to Zach is one of the few things in life that makes me feel that. And so is staying away from you."

"Please," she whispered, refusing to look at him, "Can you just go."

There was silence, but then she heard a soft sigh, "I thought, I hoped, that maybe five years was enough time for you."

"It will never be enough time."

"You're many great things, Belle Hawthorn, a liar isn't one of them."

She didn't see him move, but she felt the heat radiating off him when he was suddenly beside her. Before she could step away, he'd leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and then he was gone. Walking towards the door at a normal pace, almost as if he wanted to give her time to reconsider and call him back.

But she didn't, she just stood there mutely watching him walk away, just as he had watched her go, and any words she might have said died in her throat.

Only after she heard the door to the gallery swing shut once again, and the soft purr of a car engine start up, did she turn away from the long empty exit. She found her eyes once more resting on the painting of a picture. Things had been so perfect in those days, so peaceful. The world had been balanced and everything had been right. Yes, the boys had their off days, caused by Zach's depression and Aldrich's disability for the most part, and she herself hadn't always been able to stay strong for them. But on the whole, she knew that it had been the golden age in her life.

And she could never return to it.

But even then, even during those perfect times, there had always been that shadow above the three of them. A shadow that Zach had never known about. And a shadow which, now that Zach was dead, could never be lifted from their friendship.

"J-Bell?" Anna's tentative voice spoke out from behind her, "Are you okay?"

"You were still in high school at the time, Anna," Belle said, turning around, "What do you remember about us?"

"I remember that you were happy," Anna answered instantly, "And I know that, despite having Lucas, you haven't been truly happy since you lost them."

"_Him_," Belle corrected, "I only lost one."

Anna shook her head, and stepped up next to Belle, studying the painting, "No, you also lost Aldrich after Zach's accident. You walked away from him, at a time when you both probably needed each other more than ever."

"What?" Belle whipped around to face her cousin, "And just how long have you had that opinion for?"

Anna shrugged, "Since it happened, but you weren't in a state to hear it, which is fair enough."

"And you think I am now?"

"Calm down, no need to get hysterical," Anna said gently, "And yes, why else do you think I let Aldrich in?"

It finally clicked then. Of course Anna would have known it was Aldrich, even though he looked a little different, he was probably easily recognisable to her considering the amount of time that he had spent around Belle's family. She'd known how Belle felt about him though, and still she'd let him in.

"I don't know why you keep blaming him, or yourself," Anna continued, no doubt prompted by Belle's silence, "What happened to Zach was tragic, but it was just an accident. People die in crashes all the time; you can't accuse Aldrich of being responsible, or keep thinking you are either. I never understood that."

Belle just stood there, gaping. Anna had no idea just how wrong she was. Sometimes Belle forgot that cover story on Zach's death, and to hear it talked about so ignorantly both angered and pained her.

"You understand nothing about it, _nothing!"_ Belle snapped, "Don't ever let Aldrich in here again, or I swear to god I will find a way to manage on my own."

She stormed out after that, ignoring Anna's protests, and slamming the door loudly as she left.

Perhaps not her most mature moment, but she couldn't help it. At heart she knew that Anan couldn't be blamed, she didn't know the whole story, there was no way she could be able to understand no matter how much she might want to. But that logic refused to make its way deep enough into Belle's brain to make her go back and apologise.

More guilt hit her as she sat at the stop to wait. She shouldn't have acted like that if Anna was just trying to be nice. But she couldn't help being furious that Anna had just let Aldrich in without at least warning her about it before she went down. At least then she would have been more prepared. But actually, it was far more probable that she would simply have refused to go down and made Anna send him away. Although, Belle doubted that Aldrich would have left so easily. He had more confidence now, but he had never been easily cowed even when he had been disabled.

When the bus finally pulled up, Belle almost didn't notice, she was so wrapped up in her thoughts. It seemed as if one moment she was sitting on the cold bench, and the next she was sitting on a threadbare seat, though she didn't remember getting on and paying. Tipping her head to rest against the glass, she thought over what Anna had said.

"_What happened to Zach was tragic, but it was just an accident. People die in crashes all the time; you can't accuse Aldrich of being responsible, or keep thinking you are either. I never understood that."_

A car crash, it was the simplest way to make an accident out of what happened. An accident bad enough to made the body unidentifiable, when in fact, there hadn't even been a body of his left to identify.

Anna was wrong, she was so very very wrong. Perhaps is Aldrich had never suggested the idea, and if she had protested it more, Zach never would have gone through with it. It wasn't as if he needed it like Aldrich did, he was in fine physical shape. But they were such close friends, they did everything together.

Even Extremis.

**~~8~~**

"Guys! Guys!" Aldrich burst into the room, almost losing his balance between shoving the door open and walking with his cane.

Belle's attention was jerked away from her art, and she nearly smudged green paint from her brush all over the canvas, "Aldrich! Don't do that!"

Zach merely laughed from his place on the couch, "Lifelong friendship and the hasn't learnt not to barge in on you just in case you're painting, which you always are."

"Doesn't matter," Aldrich waved away their remarks, but looked a little scared by the glare levelled at him by Belle, "Uhh, much. Anyway, something bigger and better has happened!"

"Bigger and better, huh?" Belle quirked an eyebrow, "You're off to a roaring start with my attention."

"Maya and I have been talking, and we're sure that we've finally got the process working properly!"

"The Extremis? That's great, I'm happy for you!" Belle exclaimed; jumping up to give Aldrich a hug.

Zach pushed himself up of the couch and came to stand by them, "So...the 'problems' will stop?"

Belle winced, the Extremis virus which Aldrich was talking about had all manner of perks, but if it went wrong, it _really_ went wrong...

Aldrich nodded, "We're 99% sure."

"Wait...does this mean...you're going to...?" Belle took a step back from Aldrich, looking him up and down.

A grin broke out on his face, and he gestured with his cane, "I'm going to get rid of this, finally. After the Extremis, no one's going to brush me off again!"

His ambition was adding strength to his voice, and Belle put a hand gently on his arm.

"We never have."

He looked at the both of them, "I know, which is why, now that it's safe, will you two join me?"

"Wait, what?" Belle spluttered.

"Join me," Aldrich repeated, "This enhancement would put us so much higher than everyone else, and I want you both with me."

"Are you crazy!? I can't to do that!" Belle's hands flew to her stomach, reminding the both of them of the news she'd shared a couple of weeks ago.

"Oh," Aldrich's smile faltered, "Right, I'd forgotten about that... you're right, of course, it probably isn't as safe if you're carrying a child."

They locked eyes for a moment, and Belle was cut by the sadness in his eyes. She bit her lip guiltily, as his gaze flickered briefly to the diamond ring on the forth finger of the left hand, and averted her eyes when he looked back up to her.

"I agree," Zach, who had been silently thinking for the most part, spoke up and slung an arm around Belle's shoulders, "While Belle's pregnant, she shouldn't go near this, I don't think that either of us wants to risk her."

"Absolutely not," Aldrich added instantly.

"But," Zach continued, taking off his glasses the way he always did before he said something that he knew Belle might not like, "That doesn't mean that I'll leave you hanging."

"Zach-" Aldrich began, but Belle cut him off.

"Excuse me?" she asked; stepping out from under Zach's arm and glaring up at him, "And just what part of you needs Extremis?"

He ran a hand through his hair, tousling the already messy brown curls, "C'mon, Belle. You've heard Al, it's not just about fixing people, it's enhancement too. And I'm not going to let him go through it alone. Besides, it's safe now, and wouldn't it be better to be able to do so much more?"

Belle looked between the two men, "To be honest, I'd rather neither of you did it. I know, I know Al and Maya say it's safe now, but how can you know? What would I do if I lost you guys?"

"So you'd rather I stayed a cripple?" Aldrich questioned.

"I've never thought of you like that, you know that," she shot back, "It just scares me. I mean, I like that it's your dream and it's working, but that doesn't mean you have to risk your own life."

"But Belle, I want to," he replied, "This is about more than just AIM and Extremis, my whole life this leg and everything else has just made it nigh on impossible to be taken seriously, for people to really see me as something worth their time. I'm sick of it. I want more, and this is something I'll have to do to get it."

"And you?" she turned to Zach.

"I'll stand by Al on this, it's his project, it works, and if he wants it then I'll go and get it with him." Zach knelt down and took her hands in his, "I know you're scared, but you don't have to be. You won't lose either of us, I promise."

Belle sighed, looking back and forth between them. Zach's pleading look, and Aldrich's fierce determination dared her to challenge them further. In the end, all she said was;

"This discussion isn't over, boys."


End file.
